Change

Last Thursday I woke up in Lodz. 

Friday I woke up in Warsaw. 

Saturday I woke up in Las Vegas. 

Monday I woke up in Provo.

In a matter of days everything that was normal to me was turned upside down. I no longer wake up at 6:30. I no longer call everyone Sister and Elder. I no longer ride tramwejs. I no longer speak Polish all the time. I no longer have the constant pull to be outside working all the time in all kinds of weather. I no longer stop people on the street and ask if they want to learn more about the Book of Mormon. I no longer wear skirts and a name tag everyday. 

People ask me how I feel since I've been back. The crazy thing is that everything feels so normal. My family is the same. Las Vegas looks the same. BYU is the same. My brain remembers everything and so it feels familiar, but not. I am different. Everything is different because I am different. And so it's not the same. 

Someone told me that coming home from a mission allows you to rediscover yourself. I can see that. Now that I'm back I can re-decide what is important to me and what I want to be normal. But in the midst of all this change and rediscovery I'm grateful I have an anchor in the gospel. While I'm figuring out all the details, the core things in my life don't have to waver and that is reassuring.