First day of school

It's one of my last first days of school. Such a strange feeling. I've only been a student for almost 80% of my life, you know? When you take into account that I don't remember very much from the other 20%, which all occurs before the age of 5, that becomes even more significant.The first day of school was always such an exciting and nervous day. It was fun to see all of my friends and meet the new teachers. There was a lot of thought and often some shopping put into the first day outfit. And somehow everything felt fresh, probably nothing to do with the crispening autumn air. Definitely not in Vegas, where that crisp autumn air was only a figment of your imagination supplied by plenty of teen high school movies.

Maybe I've just done this too often, maybe it's due to the fact that I've stayed here all summer, but this year I don't really have the same excitement. I'm just tired. However, I think this semester is going to be good for me. I think I need more direction and incentive to complete my goals. I think having the variety of a lot of different classes will be better than just working with the same people all day every day. And I think I'll be happy, because school usually makes me happy.

I think the reason first days are so exciting, iconic, important... to us is that they are new beginnings, and as humans we love new beginnings. For instance, today I put on my ring. A ring I haven't worn all summer for a random and insignificant reason. But today when I saw it, I put it back on. Why? I don't know. Somehow I'm prepared to switch up my life today in ways that I wasn't yesterday. And I guess for that reason alone, the first day of class is a good thing. It's a day to make us braver and more adventurous and bolder and anything else we've wanted to be. So even though this is one of my last firsts when it comes to the school year. I hope I find more new beginnings, because I think as humans we need them to grow and progress and BECOME.

Memories of Chico

Chico is a town in Northern California known for its party university, but known to me as the place where Grandma and Grandpa live. In my memory it is the place of a big backyard, three pianos, and a swimming pool with a slide. I went back to Chico for the first time in ten years just a few weeks ago. I did see my grandparents during those 10 years, just not in Chico.

It was fun going back. Everything was exactly the same in my Grandmother's house, just lower down on the wall than I remember. Like the duck clock in the guest bathroom and the cupboard of cereal. It's strange how life goes on, and we change so much, but some things are so much the same. And maybe it's just my memories that infuse the present with that sameness, but either way, I think the nostalgia is healthy. As long as we can move forward into the present.

Grandpa

My grandfather likes to come off a little gruff sometimes, but he’s always been one of the most supportive people in my life. I remember as a child going over to Grandma and Grandpa’s house for Sunday dinner. My grandfather patiently taught me how to play chess, and even let me win occasionally. To this day, I think of him when I see a chess board. Especially the small wood ones that can fold in half and store the pieces inside, just like the one we always used. Grandpa Jerry is the definition of a homebody, but whenever there was a birthday or a graduation or a holiday he always made sure he was there. By example, he taught me that family is important, and you make sure you are there for the important moment.

He also taught me that when you care about someone, you help them any way you can. I have seen him offer spare bedrooms to grandchildren that needed a place to stay for a while, pick up my brother from school every day for months, and take me out driving the day before my driving test just because I was nervous and wanted some extra practice. I’m sure I drove through an entire tank of gas practicing for that test, but he never said anything. He just let me drive around in his car and took me to lunch afterwards.

Ever since I was a little girl, we would run up to Grandpa’s front door, ring the bell and wait. After a few second we would hear him coming and he would put on a rough voice and say, “We don’t want any.” Maybe someone will read this and think, children don’t understand this kind of teasing. But we did. We would always laugh and say, “It’s us” and he would open the door and give us a big hug. Somehow even as a child I knew that “We don’t want any” meant “I love you.”